butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
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Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
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I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
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