My hand turned me down
You smell like a Billy Joel song
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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