Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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