Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Randomize
