I must be too annoying 4 u.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I just found a bag of teeth...
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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