you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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