He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
