Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Someone signed my nipple.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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