spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
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