dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
