We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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