Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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