Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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