Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
