sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
