If i come over, it means nothing
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Randomize
