i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize