Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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