im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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