Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
