Me. At least after what I've been through.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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