Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
