I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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