ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
