Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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