Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
