i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
