Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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