Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
