what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
