She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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