My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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