You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
