Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
