When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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