we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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