I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
