One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
