I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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