They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
two words: eviction party
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
try to milk me bitch
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
