He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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