Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
then he tried to convert me to islam
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
