Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
me + whiskey = a bad person
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
