dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
i think my cat just said my name.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
