You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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