I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
When are your genitals available?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize