just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
