I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Randomize
