He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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