So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Randomize
