she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my poor anus
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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