We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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