I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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