Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
