Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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