Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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