He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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