So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
