You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
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we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
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after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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