Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I would ride that face into the sunset
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
