Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
