My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Be still, my beating vagina.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
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