Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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