Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
